Thursday 4 April 2013

A year on...


I thought that I'd update you all with my news, such as it is. Nothing really to report on the cancer. It's still there and I'm still getting the tri-monthly injections of hormone blocker jism. I seem to have become habituated to the current effects of both the side-effects of the drug and the discomfort in my pelvic region. I should be due another consultancy soon. I have the little bag to send off a blood sample for another PSA test but so far no indication of when that will be.

In all honesty I'm not that bothered. The only thing that another PSA test will show is whether or not the hormone blocker is still working. The suppression of my original symptoms seems to suggest that it is. Being truly objective I have to report that it isn't quite as effective in that regard as it once was but then that's no surprise as it's known to lose efficacy with time and use.

It's odd but the effects of the injection seem strongest in the middle of the three months. There's no sudden or dramatic increase in the efficacy immediately after the injection and no reduction as I approach the next dose. The side-effects are most noticeable for a month in the middle. Perhaps that's just me and my odd metabolism?

As I say, the only thing that another consultancy will tell me is that the PSA has altered, up, down or stayed the same. Without another full-body X-ray and soft tissue scan it remains unknown whether the spread has been arrested or not. 

The more I think about it the less important it seems to know because I'm pretty certain that I'll get the information from my body. It's not as if knowing the status is going to alter treatment. 

Some may think that it's unduly pessimistic to comment that around this time last year I was told "five years" and that I'm down to four now. My view is that it's simply pragmatic. It's a bit like my working days when I 'booked' someone for speeding or whatever: I used to tell the person that it may result in no further action, a letter cautioning the driver or a Summons to court, that it was best to anticipate the worst and anything less would be a bonus. With that in mind, anything more than four more years is a bonus - quality of the time being another consideration.

Please don't let this affect you detrimentally. It doesn't have that effect upon me. Well that's not quite true. Sometimes I do have a visit from a  Churchillian "Black Dog" but it's fleeting and mostly due to an unpleasant, unhealthy self-obsession. It doesn't take much to pull myself out of it, going for a ride or simply looking at my bike is enough and if I can't be bothered to do either of those things just looking at a photo of my great-nephew Freddie does the trick every time.