Update

I think that I've got things straight in my head now and I've assimilated what it means.

You may recall that my PSA score, when it was first tested, was 55. The "acceptable" level, by which the medical profession mean an increased PSA that requires only "watchful waiting" is 4.

Following my recent blood test, mine has fallen to 1.75. On the face of it, that's good news and I was pleasantly surprised. However, the consultant went on to explain that it was expected but that as Charlie has metastasised, it isn't necessarily a sign of remission. In fact, it is largely palliative, removing the symptoms that I first presented with.

In that respect it has worked. As reported, I don't have the issues that first made me seek medical help, or at least I don't have the worst of them, some persist but much less intrusively.

The prognosis hasn't changed. I still have cancer. I have to accept that until anything to the contrary is established, the cancer is still present and still in my prostate, pelvis and one lymph gland. I specifically asked if the lowered PSA meant an improvement in the prognosis. The consultant reiterated that lymph cancer is too unpredictable to be able to accurately foresee how things will advance.

So I continue on the hormone blocking injections at the same dosage for as long as is necessary. In about six months I'll provide another blood sample for PSA analysis and if it remains low, the next step will be to do some more scans to see what's happening. That's not likely to be before April at the earliest.

Apparently, the side effects of the injections will continue unabated. My age is against me in their severity. It was explained that as the body ages, hormone production weakens naturally and the body gets used to the reduced levels and energy levels decline anyway. At my age, the lack of testosterone is being felt, the mental torpor and physical lethargy that I experience much of the time is the result. There is nothing that can combat this except a determination to resist.

Well that's about it. Some change. Not enough to warrant optimism but better than another round of bad news.

Worse things happen at sea!

Full Update to Follow

I'll post something in a day or so. I just want to go over what was said today and make certain that I have things straight in my head.

The one thing that I'm certain of is that my PSA score has fallen and a long way.

The Condemned Cell

Well today, 24th September, I am to return to the Oncology department of my local hospital to keep a (slightly delayed) appointment.

A couple of weeks ago I gave a blood sample to check my PSA score, the purpose being to see if it has altered since the last one.

Today, I read a newspaper account of a death row prisoner in Texas who has twice got as far as the door of the chamber where he is sentenced to be "humanely" executed by means of a lethal injection, only to have the hand of the executioner stayed by the Supreme Court.

I feel a strange sort of empathy with that man.

Yesterday I gladly accepted the opportunity to be distracted but it was only a partial distraction. I had a rotten night. This morning, despite having some things to do that should offer further distractions, I'm unable to drag my attention from the clock. I'm counting down the hours and minutes to my appointment just as the convicted man's account of the last four hours before the allotted time with his appointment draws nearer.

I'd be lying if I didn't admit to hoping for an intervention equivalent to that of the Supreme Court but hope doesn't seem tangible enough to place much trust in.

I, unlike the condemned man in Texas, can at least do more than sit and wait. So I'd better get on with something purposeful.